Perfectly imperfect

I read something the other day about a mom who struggled so much with trying to make her life so structured and perfect that it rubbed off onto how she treated her daughter.  Essentially, she was slowly breaking her spirit by being really hard on her.  The more I read, the more my heart broke.  I could see so much of myself in this woman's words and it scared me.  My entire life, I have struggled with perfectionism.  It's an ugly, horrible monster and I fight it all the time.  Feeling like my body isn't good enough, like I don't cook well enough, like I don't take care of my daughter well enough.  I pray every day that Shayna doesn't battle with this monster the way I do.  I pray that every day of her life she looks in the mirror and sees someone beautiful, inside and out.  That she never looks at her beautiful blue eyes and wishes they were brown.  That she values health and fitness and taking care of herself, but not to the point where she obsesses over it and doesn't feel like she ever does enough.  I pray that she won't burst into tears the first time she gets a B on a test or paper.  That she understands that it doesn't matter what her grades are, as long as she is diligent and tries her best.  That she will be able to forgive herself her mistakes and her failures.  I pray that she will always know that as her mommy, I will love her no matter, just because she is my daughter, and it isn't at all performance based.  And then I pray for myself.  That I will have the grace and patience being a good parent requires.  That I will be faithful in being consistent.  I had to spank my little one for the first time the other day, not to punish, but to train.  I want to train my child to be obedient so that the need for punishment will be greatly diminished.  It temporarily hurt my mommy heart to see her flinch and watch tears spill from her eyes, but I knew in the long run, she would benefit from being taught self-control, before she is old enough to understand it's importance in life.  I love my darling little one, and I cannot wait to watch her continue to thrive and grow!