Monday, December 23, 2013
Perfectly imperfect
I read something the other day about a mom who struggled so much with trying to make her life so structured and perfect that it rubbed off onto how she treated her daughter. Essentially, she was slowly breaking her spirit by being really hard on her. The more I read, the more my heart broke. I could see so much of myself in this woman's words and it scared me. My entire life, I have struggled with perfectionism. It's an ugly, horrible monster and I fight it all the time. Feeling like my body isn't good enough, like I don't cook well enough, like I don't take care of my daughter well enough. I pray every day that Shayna doesn't battle with this monster the way I do. I pray that every day of her life she looks in the mirror and sees someone beautiful, inside and out. That she never looks at her beautiful blue eyes and wishes they were brown. That she values health and fitness and taking care of herself, but not to the point where she obsesses over it and doesn't feel like she ever does enough. I pray that she won't burst into tears the first time she gets a B on a test or paper. That she understands that it doesn't matter what her grades are, as long as she is diligent and tries her best. That she will be able to forgive herself her mistakes and her failures. I pray that she will always know that as her mommy, I will love her no matter, just because she is my daughter, and it isn't at all performance based. And then I pray for myself. That I will have the grace and patience being a good parent requires. That I will be faithful in being consistent. I had to spank my little one for the first time the other day, not to punish, but to train. I want to train my child to be obedient so that the need for punishment will be greatly diminished. It temporarily hurt my mommy heart to see her flinch and watch tears spill from her eyes, but I knew in the long run, she would benefit from being taught self-control, before she is old enough to understand it's importance in life. I love my darling little one, and I cannot wait to watch her continue to thrive and grow!
Saturday, November 23, 2013
See how you've grown.....
Since my baby girl is 6 months old, I figured now was as good a time as ever to post some pictures of our journey thus far. :)
Her birth was by far one of the most magical days of my life. Everything about her was and is a miracle.
This is a sight that will forever melt my heart. My husband could not be more in love with his little girl. :)
6 weeks after Shayna's birth, we welcomed her cousin, Dalyce Lynn into the world. They are trouble together already haha.
This was Shayna's first Sea Isle City beach trip. We decided to take her back to her roots. :)
She absolutely loves bath time. Her favorite part is when I let her chew on the wash cloth at the end.
Her first little smiles lit up my world. They still do.
Our first family pictures :)
She has eyes so blue they could set your soul on fire.
And at 6 months, I now have a tummy sleeper on my hands. :)
She is the sunshine of our lives and we love her more and more every day.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Mommy wars
I follow this facebook page where women post questions about breastfeeding, mainly. But occasionally there will be questions posted about other things pertaining to motherhood. It is amazing to me how critical and judgmental fellow mommies can be of one another. The spectrum of parenthood is so vast and so broad and I think there are very few completely right answers, a couple of totally wrong answers and a whole bunch of just plain answers. I think most parents would agree that you should always make sure, to the best of your abilities, that your children have enough to eat. I think most parents would agree that obvious child abuse is abhorrent and wrong. But throw in a topic like "sleep training" and you will have an explosion of opinions and maybe a few "facts". Many mommies will think that you absolutely should sleep train your babies and you will have just as many mommies who think that the idea of training your baby to sleep is ridiculous. Basically, what it comes down to is, WHO CARES? If I am talking to fellow Christian mommies, the most important thing you can train your children to do is love the Lord, respect their father, and be kind to their siblings, if they have them. Mothers make decisions every day for their babies based on so many factors such as what they think is best for their kids, their convenience, their own sanity and peace of mind, and so on and so forth. What works for one mom may not work for another. And that's ok.
Do what works for you, and I'm going to do what works for me. If women want to walk around with their babies strapped to their bodies, then let them. Go smugly push your stroller somewhere else. If you see a woman nursing her baby, don't ask her why she would want to "deal" with that. By far the majority of women who nurse their babies thoroughly enjoy it. And if for whatever reason formula is what you have chosen, then feel justified in knowing you are still lovingly feeding and providing for your baby. And for Pete's sake, let the co-sleepers co-sleep. No one is saying you have to keep your baby in bed with you. Maybe co-sleeping is the only way some mom can get her baby to sleep more than an hour at a time. But at the same time, don't insinuate that my child is going to have security issues later in life because she sleeps alone in her crib. And as far as crying it out goes, do what your gut tells you. If you feel your baby just needs to figure it out, then do that. If you feel your child isn't ready for that, or if you don't believe in it, then just don't do it.
Sometimes there are things that moms have to do differently because of the way they are forced/choose to raise their kids. Moms who stay home have much more freedom to experiment with their children's schedule than moms who work. For instance, a mom that works might be more apt to put her baby on a feeding schedule while a stay at home mom would be more able to nurse on demand. Basically what I'm saying is, I wish more moms could just support and love each other through their differences. It's ok if people don't always do things your way. That doesn't necessarily make them wrong. Accept that. Let it go. I catch myself saying all the time, "Oh I would never want to do that". And I don't. But I'm sure there are things that I do that would make other moms feel that very same way. Do what's best for your kids, and while you're at it, spread the love of Jesus. :)
Do what works for you, and I'm going to do what works for me. If women want to walk around with their babies strapped to their bodies, then let them. Go smugly push your stroller somewhere else. If you see a woman nursing her baby, don't ask her why she would want to "deal" with that. By far the majority of women who nurse their babies thoroughly enjoy it. And if for whatever reason formula is what you have chosen, then feel justified in knowing you are still lovingly feeding and providing for your baby. And for Pete's sake, let the co-sleepers co-sleep. No one is saying you have to keep your baby in bed with you. Maybe co-sleeping is the only way some mom can get her baby to sleep more than an hour at a time. But at the same time, don't insinuate that my child is going to have security issues later in life because she sleeps alone in her crib. And as far as crying it out goes, do what your gut tells you. If you feel your baby just needs to figure it out, then do that. If you feel your child isn't ready for that, or if you don't believe in it, then just don't do it.
Sometimes there are things that moms have to do differently because of the way they are forced/choose to raise their kids. Moms who stay home have much more freedom to experiment with their children's schedule than moms who work. For instance, a mom that works might be more apt to put her baby on a feeding schedule while a stay at home mom would be more able to nurse on demand. Basically what I'm saying is, I wish more moms could just support and love each other through their differences. It's ok if people don't always do things your way. That doesn't necessarily make them wrong. Accept that. Let it go. I catch myself saying all the time, "Oh I would never want to do that". And I don't. But I'm sure there are things that I do that would make other moms feel that very same way. Do what's best for your kids, and while you're at it, spread the love of Jesus. :)
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
To my beautiful blue-eyed baby girl.....
My dearest daughter,
You are now 6 months old and this time has flown and crawled at the same time. It's hard to believe all the things you have accomplished so far. You have gone from only nursing, to eating your oatmeal, fruits and veggies like a champ. You've gone from sitting in your rocker quietly and contentedly to rattling your toys and kicking your legs and engaging with people who walk by you. You've gone from sleeping through the night, to being up twice, to now only being up once. Mommy is hoping that eventually that will come full circle again. :) You can now sit up, shakily I'll admit, but you love it. You roll all over the place and enjoy "swimming" on your belly. And before I know it, that's going to turn into crawling. You are finally getting some hair, which is only making you marginally less bald. But that's ok, in time, I know you will have beautiful hair. You have eyes of the clearest and brightest blue. I'm not sure where they came from but they are enchanting, and they sparkle when you smile. You are finally starting to chub up a little bit, but I have a feeling you will always be Mommy's little peanut. I don't think your feet have grown at all since birth, they are so tiny! And you love to eat your toes. You can fit your whole foot in your mouth and you are quite happy to do so.
Your personality is so chill and you are happiest when you can be down on the floor playing and moving around. Sometimes a little bit of Mommy comes out in you and you start yelling and expressing your opinion, but for the most part, you are your Daddy, in looks and personality. Speaking of Daddy, he is hopelessly in love with you. His eyes light up when he sees you and he talks in that strange little voice when he holds you. You are his whole world. I'm not gonna lie, Mommy is a little jealous. Because there is no competing with how sweet and beautiful you are. Every one of your aunts and uncles adores you. They video tape you, take pictures of you, and strip you down to as few layers as possible to see as much of your cuteness as they can. They cannot get enough of you, no one can. They love everything about you.
I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that you love sleeping like a big girl in your own crib. My hat is off to the co-sleepers of this world because as much as I love you, I would lose my mind if you had to sleep in bed with me every night. Mommy enjoys her own sleeping space and your Daddy quite enjoys your Mommy, alone. :) And although everyone thinks that I would love for you to sleep through the night, I secretly enjoy our midnight snack and snuggle. It's our special quiet time and I love it. It's when Mommy closes her eyes and prays for you. For your present and future. That you will get a good night's sleep the rest of the night, and that God would send His angels to watch over you as you sleep. I pray for your toddler years, that I would be able to train you to be obedient and respectful. For your young school years, that you would enjoy learning and not feel pushed too hard. For your teenage years, that you would be kind, love the unlovables, stand firm on what you believe and be Jesus to everyone around you. For your young adult years, as you will probably meet the man who will be your husband. That you will practice what it means to be a godly wife, and that you will work to become that woman that would be a godly man's dream come true. For your years as a young mother, that you might be able to stay home and raise your kids, as I wish I could. That you would put their needs above your own. You will be a wonderful wife and mommy some day. I know it.
There are so many other things I wish I could say to you, Shayna Elizabeth. There isn't a day that goes by where I know Daddy and I made the right choice in naming you. Because "beautiful" could not be a more appropriate meaning for your name. I love you, my little Shayna-belle. With all my heart and soul. Happy half-birthday. Nothing brings me more joy than watching you blossom and grow. <3 It is one of my greatest joys being your mama.
You are now 6 months old and this time has flown and crawled at the same time. It's hard to believe all the things you have accomplished so far. You have gone from only nursing, to eating your oatmeal, fruits and veggies like a champ. You've gone from sitting in your rocker quietly and contentedly to rattling your toys and kicking your legs and engaging with people who walk by you. You've gone from sleeping through the night, to being up twice, to now only being up once. Mommy is hoping that eventually that will come full circle again. :) You can now sit up, shakily I'll admit, but you love it. You roll all over the place and enjoy "swimming" on your belly. And before I know it, that's going to turn into crawling. You are finally getting some hair, which is only making you marginally less bald. But that's ok, in time, I know you will have beautiful hair. You have eyes of the clearest and brightest blue. I'm not sure where they came from but they are enchanting, and they sparkle when you smile. You are finally starting to chub up a little bit, but I have a feeling you will always be Mommy's little peanut. I don't think your feet have grown at all since birth, they are so tiny! And you love to eat your toes. You can fit your whole foot in your mouth and you are quite happy to do so.
Your personality is so chill and you are happiest when you can be down on the floor playing and moving around. Sometimes a little bit of Mommy comes out in you and you start yelling and expressing your opinion, but for the most part, you are your Daddy, in looks and personality. Speaking of Daddy, he is hopelessly in love with you. His eyes light up when he sees you and he talks in that strange little voice when he holds you. You are his whole world. I'm not gonna lie, Mommy is a little jealous. Because there is no competing with how sweet and beautiful you are. Every one of your aunts and uncles adores you. They video tape you, take pictures of you, and strip you down to as few layers as possible to see as much of your cuteness as they can. They cannot get enough of you, no one can. They love everything about you.
I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that you love sleeping like a big girl in your own crib. My hat is off to the co-sleepers of this world because as much as I love you, I would lose my mind if you had to sleep in bed with me every night. Mommy enjoys her own sleeping space and your Daddy quite enjoys your Mommy, alone. :) And although everyone thinks that I would love for you to sleep through the night, I secretly enjoy our midnight snack and snuggle. It's our special quiet time and I love it. It's when Mommy closes her eyes and prays for you. For your present and future. That you will get a good night's sleep the rest of the night, and that God would send His angels to watch over you as you sleep. I pray for your toddler years, that I would be able to train you to be obedient and respectful. For your young school years, that you would enjoy learning and not feel pushed too hard. For your teenage years, that you would be kind, love the unlovables, stand firm on what you believe and be Jesus to everyone around you. For your young adult years, as you will probably meet the man who will be your husband. That you will practice what it means to be a godly wife, and that you will work to become that woman that would be a godly man's dream come true. For your years as a young mother, that you might be able to stay home and raise your kids, as I wish I could. That you would put their needs above your own. You will be a wonderful wife and mommy some day. I know it.
There are so many other things I wish I could say to you, Shayna Elizabeth. There isn't a day that goes by where I know Daddy and I made the right choice in naming you. Because "beautiful" could not be a more appropriate meaning for your name. I love you, my little Shayna-belle. With all my heart and soul. Happy half-birthday. Nothing brings me more joy than watching you blossom and grow. <3 It is one of my greatest joys being your mama.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Mommy struggles....
So here I am, only a few short days away from my daughter being 6 months old, and I am seriously pondering the gravity of this job called mommyhood. This week has been incredibly stressful. Shayna is sick for the first time in her little life and it breaks my tender mommy heart. To hear her chest rattle with every breath, to see the glassiness of her sad blue eyes, and to hear her hoarse little wail because she just doesn't feel good. And to know that I keep bringing her back to the same place every day that is probably what made her sick in the first place when all she really needs is to rest at home, kills me. My mommy guilt has plagued me more than usual this week. To know that right now I can only give my daughter what I consider the second best care in the world and know that she is suffering because of it, is really really hard to swallow. Now I know she could have gotten sick outside of daycare, but it's hard to keep that in perspective when every morning she is greeted by a crowd of runny noses and a symphony of coughing. I wish more than anything in the world that things could be different, that I could be the one to put my baby down for naps, feed her the growing variety of fruits and vegetables that she loves so much, and watch her smile while she plays all day long. I miss her terribly. Especially when I know she is hurting and all she wants is unlimited mommy cuddles.
My day begins every morning with my alarm clock going off way too soon, getting out of bed 5 minutes too late, and stumbling half conscious to the coffee maker. What I need to do is get out of bed earlier so that I have time to spend with the Lord so I start the day feeling full rather than empty. I feel like I never have enough. I feel inferior at my job, like I'm not as good as the others. I feel like because of the time my job takes that I don't have enough energy to devote to being a wife and mother so I end up doing a mediocre job at both. Every day feels like I am running on fumes. I need to re-prioritize. I just need more. More time. More energy. I can't do everything on my own. I completely believe that the Lord is using this season of my life as a working mother to help me realize that I don't need to do everything on my own. That right beside me all the time is the One who not only died to save my soul but would love to ease the guilt and the heartache that I feel from not being able to stay home with my child. I want so very much to be the best mother, but right now I need to be praying for the Lord to extend His arms of love to my baby and to hold her when He knows I can't. To comfort her and dry her tears when He knows I must be elsewhere. And to bring peace to my heart knowing that He truly is all either of us need.
God constantly is putting me in positions where I need to rely on Him and trust Him because I literally have no other choice. My self-sufficiency is one of my greatest strengths and one of my greatest downfalls. He prolonged my finding of my husband until He knew that I had come to the place where I had exhausted all my options other than to just trust His timing. He held off our conceiving of a child until I finally accepted that while I knew He was going to give us a child, it was going to be when He wanted to, not when I wanted to. And now, I am a full-time working mother because it puts me right in the place where I need to be. The place where I am forced to my knees daily crying "God, I can't!" just so He can say "I know, but I can". For someone like me, it's hard admitting that I can't do something, that I need help, or that something is hard for me or a struggle. And it's that very pride that needs to die because I know it will keep me from the fullness of the glory of God. Don't let your pride steal from you. Kill it, daily. Lean on Him who gives strength to the weak and rest to the weary. He is waiting for you. Only for you.
My day begins every morning with my alarm clock going off way too soon, getting out of bed 5 minutes too late, and stumbling half conscious to the coffee maker. What I need to do is get out of bed earlier so that I have time to spend with the Lord so I start the day feeling full rather than empty. I feel like I never have enough. I feel inferior at my job, like I'm not as good as the others. I feel like because of the time my job takes that I don't have enough energy to devote to being a wife and mother so I end up doing a mediocre job at both. Every day feels like I am running on fumes. I need to re-prioritize. I just need more. More time. More energy. I can't do everything on my own. I completely believe that the Lord is using this season of my life as a working mother to help me realize that I don't need to do everything on my own. That right beside me all the time is the One who not only died to save my soul but would love to ease the guilt and the heartache that I feel from not being able to stay home with my child. I want so very much to be the best mother, but right now I need to be praying for the Lord to extend His arms of love to my baby and to hold her when He knows I can't. To comfort her and dry her tears when He knows I must be elsewhere. And to bring peace to my heart knowing that He truly is all either of us need.
God constantly is putting me in positions where I need to rely on Him and trust Him because I literally have no other choice. My self-sufficiency is one of my greatest strengths and one of my greatest downfalls. He prolonged my finding of my husband until He knew that I had come to the place where I had exhausted all my options other than to just trust His timing. He held off our conceiving of a child until I finally accepted that while I knew He was going to give us a child, it was going to be when He wanted to, not when I wanted to. And now, I am a full-time working mother because it puts me right in the place where I need to be. The place where I am forced to my knees daily crying "God, I can't!" just so He can say "I know, but I can". For someone like me, it's hard admitting that I can't do something, that I need help, or that something is hard for me or a struggle. And it's that very pride that needs to die because I know it will keep me from the fullness of the glory of God. Don't let your pride steal from you. Kill it, daily. Lean on Him who gives strength to the weak and rest to the weary. He is waiting for you. Only for you.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Just another day in paradise....
So my cousin posted in her blog a couple of weeks ago about a country song that plays over in her head that depicts her life so well. I was thinking that there is one that I think about often too. The words are so true in my life.....
The kids screaming, phone ringing
Dog barking at the mailman bringing
That stack of bills - overdue
Good morning baby, how are you?
Got a half hour, quick shower
Take a drink of milk but the milk's gone sour
My funny face makes you laugh
Twist the top on and I put it back
There goes the washing machine
Baby, don't kick it.
I promise I'll fix it
Long about a million other things
Well, it's ok. It's so nice
It's just another day in paradise
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Well, it's two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the Lord every night
For just another day in paradise
Friday, you're late
Guess we'll never make our dinner date
At the restaurant you start to cry
Baby, we'll just improvise
Well, plan B looks like
Dominoes' pizza in the candle light
Then we'll tippy toe to our room
Make a little love that's overdue
But somebody had a bad dream
Mama and daddy
Can me and my teddy
Come in to sleep in between?
Yeah it's ok. It's so nice.
It's just another day in paradise.
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Well, it's two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the Lord every night
For just another day in paradise
My husband and I live in a house that has more than its share of problems. There have been a number of occasions that I know he has wanted to take a baseball to more than one appliance. When we have run out of water for the 8th time that day, when the well pump won't stop running, when the washer is exuding a smell akin to a dead animal. I could go on. When Irene and Lee hit, it was inches before the 5 feet of water in our crawlspace was about to spill into our first floor. I'm not even kidding when I tell you that stuff breaks ALL THE TIME and my poor husband diligently fixes all of it to the best of his abilities. I love being married to a handy man. Date night is a joke. Money is really tight right now, and even if we did have the money, and if I had a free night without the baby, all I would want would be to snuggle with my husband in bed, not say anything, and sleep for hours. Tonight my child screamed in exhaustion on and off for about 2 hours. Being in daycare, its noisy and she doesn't sleep as well. I couldn't get her to settle down. Nothing I was doing was helping.
Through all of this, my life couldn't be more perfect. Our house might be a hot mess, but its our home, and we love it because we've made memories and worked hard to make it the happy and cozy place that it is. We have plans some day to move to our forever dream home, but for now, we are content to make do with the house we've been blessed with. Marriage is hard work, even when you are married to someone as wonderful as I am. At times I have been jealous of some of our friends who take exotic and romantic vacations, but when Jeff and I sit with our Five Guys and Ritas water ice on our TV trays on our couch, I realize that we are just as fortunate, simply to have each other. My baby girl is a dream, everything I ever wanted. Even when she is having a hard time sleeping and I hear her calling for me for the third time in an hour. Her smile and the way she kicks her legs when she sees me makes even the most sleepless of nights bearable.
I love this song because it depicts how happiness and being content are not based on circumstances. It's in your attitudes, how you see your life, and how you spend it with the people you care about. A thankful heart and a cheerful spirit when times are tough, when you're flying high, and even when life is just blessedly boring, is incredibly valuable. Other than loving her Lord, if I manage to teach Shayna nothing more than to be thankful and cheerful, I will be happy. It goes such a long way. Speaking of which, I have to go check on her. She was running in her crib a few minutes ago and it is time for her to go to sleep. :)
The kids screaming, phone ringing
Dog barking at the mailman bringing
That stack of bills - overdue
Good morning baby, how are you?
Got a half hour, quick shower
Take a drink of milk but the milk's gone sour
My funny face makes you laugh
Twist the top on and I put it back
There goes the washing machine
Baby, don't kick it.
I promise I'll fix it
Long about a million other things
Well, it's ok. It's so nice
It's just another day in paradise
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Well, it's two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the Lord every night
For just another day in paradise
Friday, you're late
Guess we'll never make our dinner date
At the restaurant you start to cry
Baby, we'll just improvise
Well, plan B looks like
Dominoes' pizza in the candle light
Then we'll tippy toe to our room
Make a little love that's overdue
But somebody had a bad dream
Mama and daddy
Can me and my teddy
Come in to sleep in between?
Yeah it's ok. It's so nice.
It's just another day in paradise.
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Well, it's two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the Lord every night
For just another day in paradise
My husband and I live in a house that has more than its share of problems. There have been a number of occasions that I know he has wanted to take a baseball to more than one appliance. When we have run out of water for the 8th time that day, when the well pump won't stop running, when the washer is exuding a smell akin to a dead animal. I could go on. When Irene and Lee hit, it was inches before the 5 feet of water in our crawlspace was about to spill into our first floor. I'm not even kidding when I tell you that stuff breaks ALL THE TIME and my poor husband diligently fixes all of it to the best of his abilities. I love being married to a handy man. Date night is a joke. Money is really tight right now, and even if we did have the money, and if I had a free night without the baby, all I would want would be to snuggle with my husband in bed, not say anything, and sleep for hours. Tonight my child screamed in exhaustion on and off for about 2 hours. Being in daycare, its noisy and she doesn't sleep as well. I couldn't get her to settle down. Nothing I was doing was helping.
Through all of this, my life couldn't be more perfect. Our house might be a hot mess, but its our home, and we love it because we've made memories and worked hard to make it the happy and cozy place that it is. We have plans some day to move to our forever dream home, but for now, we are content to make do with the house we've been blessed with. Marriage is hard work, even when you are married to someone as wonderful as I am. At times I have been jealous of some of our friends who take exotic and romantic vacations, but when Jeff and I sit with our Five Guys and Ritas water ice on our TV trays on our couch, I realize that we are just as fortunate, simply to have each other. My baby girl is a dream, everything I ever wanted. Even when she is having a hard time sleeping and I hear her calling for me for the third time in an hour. Her smile and the way she kicks her legs when she sees me makes even the most sleepless of nights bearable.
I love this song because it depicts how happiness and being content are not based on circumstances. It's in your attitudes, how you see your life, and how you spend it with the people you care about. A thankful heart and a cheerful spirit when times are tough, when you're flying high, and even when life is just blessedly boring, is incredibly valuable. Other than loving her Lord, if I manage to teach Shayna nothing more than to be thankful and cheerful, I will be happy. It goes such a long way. Speaking of which, I have to go check on her. She was running in her crib a few minutes ago and it is time for her to go to sleep. :)
Friday, September 20, 2013
Wedding basics
So, in all of this I realized that the original reason that I wanted to write this blog was to talk about my experiences in life in hopes that someone could either gather some tips from what I had to say, or learn from my mistakes. Or just enjoy reading about someone else stumbling through life, making it only by the grace of God. :) I'm not saying my way is always right because it certainly isn't. And I don't judge people who ever choose to do anything different. I know I already wrote about my wedding, but, there are a few more things that I wanted to add for any of you newly engaged women who are looking for tips of any sort.
1. Determine your budget from the start. This is soooo important. Figure out how much money is going to be available to you for this event and from where it is coming. Decide you are going to stick with that number. Look up on the internet for different suggestions in the breakdowns of how much money should go to each category. As you make purchases for each category, determine if the set percentage is one you like, or think should have more or less. For example, I think the budget I followed suggested that I should spend 10% of my money on stationary. That being invitations, thank you cards, place cards etc. Well, I knew I wasn't going to spend nearly that much, so I took some of the money reserved for that and put it towards my reception, which I knew was going to be pricier than suggested.
2. Your wedding dress does not have to be the end all be all of life. Yes it is important to love your dress, and you will. And every bride looks breathtaking on her wedding day no matter what her dress looks like. But, you really do only wear it one day of your life. And your husband will think you look stunning no matter what. Don't ruin your dress shopping experience stressing about finding the perfect dress. If you get to the point where you think you are going to vomit if you try on another dress, you've looked too long. Just pick one. :)
3. Be real about invitations. It's fine to want them to be awesome and pretty, but again, don't stress. Your invitation will sit on someone's fridge until your wedding and then it will most likely be thrown in the trash. Be ok with that. Same thing with favors. People remember things they are able to use rather than something that will just sit and collect dust.
4. Determine how much you want to be involved and how much planning you want to do. What I mean by that is, if you choose a venue like a country club, it is likely that you will choose your food, alcohol, center pieces, cake, and table linens through them. That takes care of a lot of different phone calls. If you choose some place that doesn't include all of those things you'll need to call a caterer, a bakery etc. Decide if you want to do food tasting or cake tasting. If your fiance doesn't want to be involved in lots of little details, don't force him to. It will make planning more unpleasant for you and you may not be able to force him to do things once you're married anyway. Get used to it now. Or vice versa. If he really wants to be involved, let him. Respect his desire to have some say. It's his special day too.
5. Don't skimp on your photography. At the end of your wedding day, you will probably remember little to nothing. It passes in such a blur. You want to know that you had quality photography to capture every amazing moment of your special day that you can't currently remember.
6. If you know someone artsy and don't want to bother with a florist, seriously consider having artificial bouquets made. They are still beautiful and can be stored months in advance.
7. Understand that the more popular the month that you chose for your wedding, the harder time you may have looking for availability in the near future. If you insist on a June wedding, either get really creative, or accept the fact that you may need to wait a year or so for a popular venue.
Finally, realize that you will spend one day being a bride, but you will spend the rest of your life being a wife. So many women slave over details and stress to the max over trying to get one day exactly perfect, and many of them succeed and have breathtakingly beautiful weddings. But, according to statistics nowadays, more than half of those women will have their marriages end in divorce. This is so sad. I think that if women spent as much time praying about and learning about how to be a good wife as they do planning their wedding, the divorce rate would drop dramatically. I would venture to say that the majority of women, if push came to shove, would marry their man, wedding or not. There is nothing wrong with wanting to plan certain activities or have specific colors, but understand at the end of the day, your wedding is about you saying "I do" to the man that you love in front of all the people most important to you. "I am not getting married now because I can't have an ice cream sundae bar at my reception", said no woman ever. But seriously, learn to let go, be gracious to the people that come to celebrate with you, and don't forget to invite the Lord to start at the center of your new life together. :)
1. Determine your budget from the start. This is soooo important. Figure out how much money is going to be available to you for this event and from where it is coming. Decide you are going to stick with that number. Look up on the internet for different suggestions in the breakdowns of how much money should go to each category. As you make purchases for each category, determine if the set percentage is one you like, or think should have more or less. For example, I think the budget I followed suggested that I should spend 10% of my money on stationary. That being invitations, thank you cards, place cards etc. Well, I knew I wasn't going to spend nearly that much, so I took some of the money reserved for that and put it towards my reception, which I knew was going to be pricier than suggested.
2. Your wedding dress does not have to be the end all be all of life. Yes it is important to love your dress, and you will. And every bride looks breathtaking on her wedding day no matter what her dress looks like. But, you really do only wear it one day of your life. And your husband will think you look stunning no matter what. Don't ruin your dress shopping experience stressing about finding the perfect dress. If you get to the point where you think you are going to vomit if you try on another dress, you've looked too long. Just pick one. :)
3. Be real about invitations. It's fine to want them to be awesome and pretty, but again, don't stress. Your invitation will sit on someone's fridge until your wedding and then it will most likely be thrown in the trash. Be ok with that. Same thing with favors. People remember things they are able to use rather than something that will just sit and collect dust.
4. Determine how much you want to be involved and how much planning you want to do. What I mean by that is, if you choose a venue like a country club, it is likely that you will choose your food, alcohol, center pieces, cake, and table linens through them. That takes care of a lot of different phone calls. If you choose some place that doesn't include all of those things you'll need to call a caterer, a bakery etc. Decide if you want to do food tasting or cake tasting. If your fiance doesn't want to be involved in lots of little details, don't force him to. It will make planning more unpleasant for you and you may not be able to force him to do things once you're married anyway. Get used to it now. Or vice versa. If he really wants to be involved, let him. Respect his desire to have some say. It's his special day too.
5. Don't skimp on your photography. At the end of your wedding day, you will probably remember little to nothing. It passes in such a blur. You want to know that you had quality photography to capture every amazing moment of your special day that you can't currently remember.
6. If you know someone artsy and don't want to bother with a florist, seriously consider having artificial bouquets made. They are still beautiful and can be stored months in advance.
7. Understand that the more popular the month that you chose for your wedding, the harder time you may have looking for availability in the near future. If you insist on a June wedding, either get really creative, or accept the fact that you may need to wait a year or so for a popular venue.
Finally, realize that you will spend one day being a bride, but you will spend the rest of your life being a wife. So many women slave over details and stress to the max over trying to get one day exactly perfect, and many of them succeed and have breathtakingly beautiful weddings. But, according to statistics nowadays, more than half of those women will have their marriages end in divorce. This is so sad. I think that if women spent as much time praying about and learning about how to be a good wife as they do planning their wedding, the divorce rate would drop dramatically. I would venture to say that the majority of women, if push came to shove, would marry their man, wedding or not. There is nothing wrong with wanting to plan certain activities or have specific colors, but understand at the end of the day, your wedding is about you saying "I do" to the man that you love in front of all the people most important to you. "I am not getting married now because I can't have an ice cream sundae bar at my reception", said no woman ever. But seriously, learn to let go, be gracious to the people that come to celebrate with you, and don't forget to invite the Lord to start at the center of your new life together. :)
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
I'm back!!
So this blogging thing turned out to be even harder to keep up with than I thought. Especially since returning to work full time. But, I will try to be better. Motherhood has been the craziest thing I have ever attempted. Just when I think I have my child figured out, she throws me a curve ball. Just when she started sleeping 6-7 hour stretches at a time, she hits her three month growth spurt and is up every 3 hours. Just when we finally are both becoming nursing pros, she decides she's too impatient to wait for the milk to let down and screams her head off for a week straight till I figured out what the problem was. Not once have I ever regretted the decision to nurse my daughter, but let me tell you, it was more painful and confusing at first than giving birth to her was. Nursing requires commitment, persistence, and perseverance. The reward is even greater than the sacrifice it requires, especially when working. It's an incredibly special part of my relationship with my daughter and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Anyways I have been tremendously blessed with a child who is very content to play on her own. She loves to be down on the floor or in her bouncy chair and just chill out. This works very much to her advantage since she spends many hours in daycare not being held and needing to entertain herself. As much as I would just love to hug and snuggle her for hours on end, I know its good that she is so independent.
Well this has been an incredibly disjointed post, but I have to go work out now while I have my husband to watch the baby. But I promise to be more diligent with posts in the future. :)
Anyways I have been tremendously blessed with a child who is very content to play on her own. She loves to be down on the floor or in her bouncy chair and just chill out. This works very much to her advantage since she spends many hours in daycare not being held and needing to entertain herself. As much as I would just love to hug and snuggle her for hours on end, I know its good that she is so independent.
Well this has been an incredibly disjointed post, but I have to go work out now while I have my husband to watch the baby. But I promise to be more diligent with posts in the future. :)
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
The birth story of Shayna Elizabeth <3
Anyone who has ever said that the 9th month of pregnancy is the longest, probably never made it to week 41, and the beginning of the 10th month. :) May 4th came and went and still I had no baby and no signs of impending labor. My fears of needing to be induced became more and more real as each day passed. I wanted to have a very natural labor and birthing experience and to me, there was nothing natural about needing to be induced and spending hours upon hours in a hospital. I went to the doctors on Monday May 6th and was told that I needed to get some testing done that Friday and then again that following Tuesday, just to make sure Baby K was still thriving. As long as all of those tests came back fine, I would not need to be induced until Thursday May 16th. I went to work on the morning of Friday the 10th and left to go to my testing, fully expecting everything to be fine and to return to work. Baby K passed the non-stress test with flying colors, after being prompted by me drinking some apple juice for a sugar high. However, the amniotic fluid check that I had done revealed that my fluid levels were running low and that I was going to need to start the proceedings of being induced that night. The reality that I was not going to be returning to work, that I was not going home, and that I was now trapped in this hospital until I gave birth scared me as it sunk in. This was not the birth plan that I signed up for. All I knew and believed about trusting God for His best and relying on Him to keep me and the baby healthy, no matter the methods, went temporarily flying out the window. The multiple people that told me that I was being silly and who cares how I had a baby didn't help. I felt like they just didn't understand. I texted my mom and my husband to come to the hospital because between the hormones and my then volatile emotions, I needed some support and perspective. I was losing the control that I covet so much very quickly, and I knew it. And that was scary.
I was admitted to the hospital around noon on Friday. I was encouraged to eat a lunch that I didn't really want, and to grab a nap I knew I wouldn't be able take. I was really nervous, but more than anything, I just wanted my baby to be ok. The doctor announced that the plan of action was to give me cervidil to try to encourage dilation and potentially start my labor. She started that at 4:00pm and said that it needed to be kept in for 12 hours. I wouldn't have cared but I was not going to be allowed out of bed the whole time, and I was going to need to constantly be on the fetal monitor. For anyone that knows me, being chained to a bed for any extended period of time is my worst nightmare. It took some talking to from my mom to shake me of my bad attitude and get me back to the place of just wanting a healthy baby. So I dutifully stayed in bed. Around 9:00pm that night, Baby K started to wake up and really start moving around. I think as a result, the baby's heart rate skyrocketed up to a level that concerned the doctor. They monitored me and the baby closely for about an hour before the doctor decided to take the cervidil out, thinking that maybe that was what was causing Baby K's heart rate to spike. I was about 2 cm dilated at this point. As Baby K settled down, the heart rate came, all the more convincing me that the spike was movement related. The doctor gave me permission to get up and walk the halls to try to encourage further dilation and to try to get active labor to start. So from 10:00pm to 4:30am on Saturday morning, Jeff and my mom took turns walking the halls with me. I had contractions coming every 2-5 minutes pretty much that whole time. By 4:30, the doctor wanting to check me again and I was extremely disappointed when she told me that I had not made any progress. I was still at 2 cm. All those contractions weren't even real labor.
She made the decision then to induce me and start me on Pitocin. Since induction was a circumstance that I knew I was going to want and epidural for, I requested it for when the Pitocin was started. At 5:00am after being hooked up to the epidural and the Pitocin, my labor officially started. Once I got my epidural, I became extremely warm and comfortable and was able to relax after a very long night up walking. Contractions came every 5 minutes and when the next doctor came to check me at 7:15, I was up to 3 cm. He broke my water and the contractions picked up right away. At 9:15 I was up to 4 cm. By 11:00 I was up to 7 and then 8 cm. The doctor said he'd be back in an hour so I could start pushing! By then, I became very excited. I knew my baby was only a few short hours away and I couldn't wait to meet him/her. At 12:09 and the doctor returned and announced that I was ready to begin pushing. I gave it everything I had and 40 minutes later, Baby K was born! "IT'S A GIRL!!" I heard my husband say. I had just given birth to the daughter I had so desperately wanted. I absolutely could not believe it. The next thing I know, I am cuddling the most perfect little baby girl on my chest with my husband raining kisses down on my head and telling me what an awesome job I did and how absolutely beautiful she was. Tears poured down both our faces as we marveled at our little miracle.
Shayna Elizabeth Kulp was born at 12:49pm and weighed 6 lbs. 13 oz. and was 19.5 inches long. And she is perfect. My husband and I are both in awe of God's goodness and mercy in the blessing that she is. I may not have had the birth story that I originally thought I was going to have, but God was still in control and he kept me and my daughter safe through the whole process. Now 2 weeks later, Jeff and I are even more in love with each other and with our pretty little princess, Shayna. <3
Anyone who has ever said that the 9th month of pregnancy is the longest, probably never made it to week 41, and the beginning of the 10th month. :) May 4th came and went and still I had no baby and no signs of impending labor. My fears of needing to be induced became more and more real as each day passed. I wanted to have a very natural labor and birthing experience and to me, there was nothing natural about needing to be induced and spending hours upon hours in a hospital. I went to the doctors on Monday May 6th and was told that I needed to get some testing done that Friday and then again that following Tuesday, just to make sure Baby K was still thriving. As long as all of those tests came back fine, I would not need to be induced until Thursday May 16th. I went to work on the morning of Friday the 10th and left to go to my testing, fully expecting everything to be fine and to return to work. Baby K passed the non-stress test with flying colors, after being prompted by me drinking some apple juice for a sugar high. However, the amniotic fluid check that I had done revealed that my fluid levels were running low and that I was going to need to start the proceedings of being induced that night. The reality that I was not going to be returning to work, that I was not going home, and that I was now trapped in this hospital until I gave birth scared me as it sunk in. This was not the birth plan that I signed up for. All I knew and believed about trusting God for His best and relying on Him to keep me and the baby healthy, no matter the methods, went temporarily flying out the window. The multiple people that told me that I was being silly and who cares how I had a baby didn't help. I felt like they just didn't understand. I texted my mom and my husband to come to the hospital because between the hormones and my then volatile emotions, I needed some support and perspective. I was losing the control that I covet so much very quickly, and I knew it. And that was scary.
I was admitted to the hospital around noon on Friday. I was encouraged to eat a lunch that I didn't really want, and to grab a nap I knew I wouldn't be able take. I was really nervous, but more than anything, I just wanted my baby to be ok. The doctor announced that the plan of action was to give me cervidil to try to encourage dilation and potentially start my labor. She started that at 4:00pm and said that it needed to be kept in for 12 hours. I wouldn't have cared but I was not going to be allowed out of bed the whole time, and I was going to need to constantly be on the fetal monitor. For anyone that knows me, being chained to a bed for any extended period of time is my worst nightmare. It took some talking to from my mom to shake me of my bad attitude and get me back to the place of just wanting a healthy baby. So I dutifully stayed in bed. Around 9:00pm that night, Baby K started to wake up and really start moving around. I think as a result, the baby's heart rate skyrocketed up to a level that concerned the doctor. They monitored me and the baby closely for about an hour before the doctor decided to take the cervidil out, thinking that maybe that was what was causing Baby K's heart rate to spike. I was about 2 cm dilated at this point. As Baby K settled down, the heart rate came, all the more convincing me that the spike was movement related. The doctor gave me permission to get up and walk the halls to try to encourage further dilation and to try to get active labor to start. So from 10:00pm to 4:30am on Saturday morning, Jeff and my mom took turns walking the halls with me. I had contractions coming every 2-5 minutes pretty much that whole time. By 4:30, the doctor wanting to check me again and I was extremely disappointed when she told me that I had not made any progress. I was still at 2 cm. All those contractions weren't even real labor.
She made the decision then to induce me and start me on Pitocin. Since induction was a circumstance that I knew I was going to want and epidural for, I requested it for when the Pitocin was started. At 5:00am after being hooked up to the epidural and the Pitocin, my labor officially started. Once I got my epidural, I became extremely warm and comfortable and was able to relax after a very long night up walking. Contractions came every 5 minutes and when the next doctor came to check me at 7:15, I was up to 3 cm. He broke my water and the contractions picked up right away. At 9:15 I was up to 4 cm. By 11:00 I was up to 7 and then 8 cm. The doctor said he'd be back in an hour so I could start pushing! By then, I became very excited. I knew my baby was only a few short hours away and I couldn't wait to meet him/her. At 12:09 and the doctor returned and announced that I was ready to begin pushing. I gave it everything I had and 40 minutes later, Baby K was born! "IT'S A GIRL!!" I heard my husband say. I had just given birth to the daughter I had so desperately wanted. I absolutely could not believe it. The next thing I know, I am cuddling the most perfect little baby girl on my chest with my husband raining kisses down on my head and telling me what an awesome job I did and how absolutely beautiful she was. Tears poured down both our faces as we marveled at our little miracle.
Shayna Elizabeth Kulp was born at 12:49pm and weighed 6 lbs. 13 oz. and was 19.5 inches long. And she is perfect. My husband and I are both in awe of God's goodness and mercy in the blessing that she is. I may not have had the birth story that I originally thought I was going to have, but God was still in control and he kept me and my daughter safe through the whole process. Now 2 weeks later, Jeff and I are even more in love with each other and with our pretty little princess, Shayna. <3
Friday, May 24, 2013
Coming soon.....
As we are now nearing the end of May, one of the most pivotal events of my life has taken place: the birth of my first child. It was somewhat scary, absolutely beautiful, and completely incredible. Coming soon is the full birth story of Baby K..... :)
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Window into the womb
So I have decided that I have somewhat of a love/hate relationship with ultrasounds. I absolutely love being able to "see" Baby K through the walls of my uterus but at the same time, having to go to the bathroom that bad makes me want to cry. It is totally worth it, of course, and my most recent 26 week ultrasound, while the shortest, was in some ways the most special. Normally, I would have only had two ultrasounds. One in my first trimester and one in my second. However, my OB ordered a third because the second one did not reveal adequate pictures of my baby's face to determine whether or not there were any facial abnormalities present. If anyone of you is a mom, or currently pregnant, you know how even the remote suggestion that something might be wrong with your baby brings a gut wrenching feeling to your heart. I scheduled the ultrasound as soon as possible, slightly apprehensive, but all the while excited about the opportunity to see my little one again.
Almost immediately, my baby presented a great head shot and I saw the most beautiful and perfectly formed little face that I had ever seen. The technician snapped several shots of my baby's little nose and mouth and my smile grew bigger as he/she moved. Since I can now clearly feel Baby K's movements, seeing what it actually looks like on the screen was delightful. (So that's what it looks like when you move like that?!) I am even more excited that the next time I lay eyes on my child, he/she will be in my arms. In about 3 months.....if I haven't said it enough, I CANNOT WAIT TO MEET MY BABY! :)
Almost immediately, my baby presented a great head shot and I saw the most beautiful and perfectly formed little face that I had ever seen. The technician snapped several shots of my baby's little nose and mouth and my smile grew bigger as he/she moved. Since I can now clearly feel Baby K's movements, seeing what it actually looks like on the screen was delightful. (So that's what it looks like when you move like that?!) I am even more excited that the next time I lay eyes on my child, he/she will be in my arms. In about 3 months.....if I haven't said it enough, I CANNOT WAIT TO MEET MY BABY! :)
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Live by faith
So I am in this Bible study now where we are studying this book about walking by faith and not by sight. It is a great thing for me to be studying since this year the Lord has blessed me with the opportunity to do something I have never done before: have a baby. It has been a thrilling process so far and it has been relatively painless and fairly comfortable. However, the whole labor and delivery process scares me to death. I'll be honest, it's probably going to be the scariest thing that I have ever done. I very much want to have as natural a birth as possible and I know that with my knowledgeable mother and my loving husband by my side, I will be able to do it, but unknown pain scares me. How can anyone who has never experienced this sort of thing before adequately mentally and physically prepare for such a thing? Needless to say, this will be a great opportunity for me to walk by faith and to trust that through this process, the Lord will give me the strength to accomplish this task.
Another thing that the Lord has been teaching me to trust him with is our finances. I am a bookkeeping Nazi when it comes to our finances. With my husband's blessing, I am the one who sets the bill paying schedule, manages the savings, and creates the monthly budget that we try very hard to stick to. We very much want to be faithful with what the Lord has given us so far and to be wise and frugal. So far, I think we have been doing well. We have managed to complete quite a few house projects, make improvements to our property, and purchase my husband's dream truck. My biggest dream in life, and one of our goals, is for me to be able to someday quit working and be able to stay home and raise our children. As of right now, our finances simply do not permit that, no matter which way I have tried to figure it. And trust me, I have reworked the numbers in EVERY possible way. The money simply isn't there yet. However, I trust completely that if this is in God's plan for our family, He will make it possible. The waiting part is always the hardest though. I'm not a huge fan at all of waiting. For now, I am grateful that I have a job that will allow me to be on the same premises as my baby every day, and that I will be able to nurse a few times a day as well. I have a forged a good relationship with the women that will be caring for my child and I respect them as caregivers. My prayer will always be that my kids can be home where I feel they belong with me, but I know the Lord will provide in the mean time. Praise God for this assurance!
Another thing that the Lord has been teaching me to trust him with is our finances. I am a bookkeeping Nazi when it comes to our finances. With my husband's blessing, I am the one who sets the bill paying schedule, manages the savings, and creates the monthly budget that we try very hard to stick to. We very much want to be faithful with what the Lord has given us so far and to be wise and frugal. So far, I think we have been doing well. We have managed to complete quite a few house projects, make improvements to our property, and purchase my husband's dream truck. My biggest dream in life, and one of our goals, is for me to be able to someday quit working and be able to stay home and raise our children. As of right now, our finances simply do not permit that, no matter which way I have tried to figure it. And trust me, I have reworked the numbers in EVERY possible way. The money simply isn't there yet. However, I trust completely that if this is in God's plan for our family, He will make it possible. The waiting part is always the hardest though. I'm not a huge fan at all of waiting. For now, I am grateful that I have a job that will allow me to be on the same premises as my baby every day, and that I will be able to nurse a few times a day as well. I have a forged a good relationship with the women that will be caring for my child and I respect them as caregivers. My prayer will always be that my kids can be home where I feel they belong with me, but I know the Lord will provide in the mean time. Praise God for this assurance!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
An active baby
So now that the craziness of Christmas and the holidays are over, I am left with a couple of things. A husband trying to get his fourth deer, the weather getting colder, my belly getting bigger, and less than 4 months till our little one is due to make his/her debut. At 24 weeks now, I am feeling regular baby movement and Jeff and a couple of other people have been able to feel Baby K's acrobatics from the outside. That was by far one of the most precious family moments of my life. At about 22 weeks, my husband and I were laying in bed and the baby started kicking what I thought was pretty strong. I grabbed my husband's hand and quickly put it on my stomach, and sure enough, Baby K kicked his hand. It was such a great moment of closeness for all three of us. I normally start giggling any time I feel Baby K move simply because it is a delight to me, and it never ceases to amaze me that there is a living person growing inside of me. I love it. Definitely the best part of being pregnant so far. :)
Though I truly do not know the sex of my baby, I have a sneaky suspicion that it is a boy. I think the main reason why I think that is because growing up, babies were never girls. I have with 7 brothers and so any time mom was pregnant, naturally it was assumed to be a boy. I seem to be unable to get out of that mindset. Though it will be a pleasant surprise if I do end up with a girl, I would love a boy just as much if that is what God has chosen to bless us with.
Well, my husband is home from work now as well and would like to have some dinner, so until next time, Happy New Year!
Though I truly do not know the sex of my baby, I have a sneaky suspicion that it is a boy. I think the main reason why I think that is because growing up, babies were never girls. I have with 7 brothers and so any time mom was pregnant, naturally it was assumed to be a boy. I seem to be unable to get out of that mindset. Though it will be a pleasant surprise if I do end up with a girl, I would love a boy just as much if that is what God has chosen to bless us with.
Well, my husband is home from work now as well and would like to have some dinner, so until next time, Happy New Year!
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