Live by faith

So I am in this Bible study now where we are studying this book about walking by faith and not by sight.  It is a great thing for me to be studying since this year the Lord has blessed me with the opportunity to do something I have never done before: have a baby.  It has been a thrilling process so far and it has been relatively painless and fairly comfortable.  However, the whole labor and delivery process scares me to death.  I'll be honest, it's probably going to be the scariest thing that I have ever done.  I very much want to have as natural a birth as possible and I know that with my knowledgeable mother and my loving husband by my side, I will be able to do it, but unknown pain scares me.  How can anyone who has never experienced this sort of thing before adequately mentally and physically prepare for such a thing?  Needless to say, this will be a great opportunity for me to walk by faith and to trust that through this process, the Lord will give me the strength to accomplish this task.

Another thing that the Lord has been teaching me to trust him with is our finances.  I am a bookkeeping Nazi when it comes to our finances.  With my husband's blessing, I am the one who sets the bill paying schedule, manages the savings, and creates the monthly budget that we try very hard to stick to.  We very much want to be faithful with what the Lord has given us so far and to be wise and frugal.  So far, I think we have been doing well.  We have managed to complete quite a few house projects, make improvements to our property, and purchase my husband's dream truck.  My biggest dream in life, and one of our goals, is for me to be able to someday quit working and be able to stay home and raise our children.  As of right now, our finances simply do not permit that, no matter which way I have tried to figure it.  And trust me, I have reworked the numbers in EVERY possible way.  The money simply isn't there yet.  However, I trust completely that if this is in God's plan for our family, He will make it possible.  The waiting part is always the hardest though.  I'm not a huge fan at all of waiting.  For now, I am grateful that I have a job that will allow me to be on the same premises as my baby every day, and that I will be able to nurse a few times a day as well.  I have a forged a good relationship with the women that will be caring for my child and I respect them as caregivers.  My prayer will always be that my kids can be home where I feel they belong with me, but I know the Lord will provide in the mean time.  Praise God for this assurance!