Window into the womb

So I have decided that I have somewhat of a love/hate relationship with ultrasounds.  I absolutely love being able to "see" Baby K through the walls of my uterus but at the same time, having to go to the bathroom that bad makes me want to cry.  It is totally worth it, of course, and my most recent 26 week ultrasound, while the shortest, was in some ways the most special.  Normally, I would have only had two ultrasounds.  One in my first trimester and one in my second.  However, my OB ordered a third because the second one did not reveal adequate pictures of my baby's face to determine whether or not there were any facial abnormalities present.  If anyone of you is a mom, or currently pregnant, you know how even the remote suggestion that something might be wrong with your baby brings a gut wrenching feeling to your heart.  I scheduled the ultrasound as soon as possible, slightly apprehensive, but all the while excited about the opportunity to see my little one again.

Almost immediately, my baby presented a great head shot and I saw the most beautiful and perfectly formed little face that I had ever seen.  The technician snapped several shots of my baby's little nose and mouth and my smile grew bigger as he/she moved.  Since I can now clearly feel Baby K's movements, seeing what it actually looks like on the screen was delightful.  (So that's what it looks like when you move like that?!)  I am even more excited that the next time I lay eyes on my child, he/she will be in my arms.  In about 3 months.....if I haven't said it enough, I CANNOT WAIT TO MEET MY BABY! :)    

Live by faith

So I am in this Bible study now where we are studying this book about walking by faith and not by sight.  It is a great thing for me to be studying since this year the Lord has blessed me with the opportunity to do something I have never done before: have a baby.  It has been a thrilling process so far and it has been relatively painless and fairly comfortable.  However, the whole labor and delivery process scares me to death.  I'll be honest, it's probably going to be the scariest thing that I have ever done.  I very much want to have as natural a birth as possible and I know that with my knowledgeable mother and my loving husband by my side, I will be able to do it, but unknown pain scares me.  How can anyone who has never experienced this sort of thing before adequately mentally and physically prepare for such a thing?  Needless to say, this will be a great opportunity for me to walk by faith and to trust that through this process, the Lord will give me the strength to accomplish this task.

Another thing that the Lord has been teaching me to trust him with is our finances.  I am a bookkeeping Nazi when it comes to our finances.  With my husband's blessing, I am the one who sets the bill paying schedule, manages the savings, and creates the monthly budget that we try very hard to stick to.  We very much want to be faithful with what the Lord has given us so far and to be wise and frugal.  So far, I think we have been doing well.  We have managed to complete quite a few house projects, make improvements to our property, and purchase my husband's dream truck.  My biggest dream in life, and one of our goals, is for me to be able to someday quit working and be able to stay home and raise our children.  As of right now, our finances simply do not permit that, no matter which way I have tried to figure it.  And trust me, I have reworked the numbers in EVERY possible way.  The money simply isn't there yet.  However, I trust completely that if this is in God's plan for our family, He will make it possible.  The waiting part is always the hardest though.  I'm not a huge fan at all of waiting.  For now, I am grateful that I have a job that will allow me to be on the same premises as my baby every day, and that I will be able to nurse a few times a day as well.  I have a forged a good relationship with the women that will be caring for my child and I respect them as caregivers.  My prayer will always be that my kids can be home where I feel they belong with me, but I know the Lord will provide in the mean time.  Praise God for this assurance!

An active baby

So now that the craziness of Christmas and the holidays are over, I am left with a couple of things.  A husband trying to get his fourth deer, the weather getting colder, my belly getting bigger, and less than 4 months till our little one is due to make his/her debut.  At 24 weeks now, I am feeling regular baby movement and Jeff and a couple of other people have been able to feel Baby K's acrobatics from the outside.  That was by far one of the most precious family moments of my life.  At about 22 weeks, my husband and I were laying in bed and the baby started kicking what I thought was pretty strong.  I grabbed my husband's hand and quickly put it on my stomach,  and sure enough, Baby K kicked his hand.  It was such a great moment of closeness for all three of us.  I normally start giggling any time I feel Baby K move simply because it is a delight to me, and it never ceases to amaze me that there is a living person growing inside of me.  I love it.  Definitely the best part of being pregnant so far. :)

Though I truly do not know the sex of my baby, I have a sneaky suspicion that it is a boy.  I think the main reason why I think that is because growing up, babies were never girls.  I have with 7 brothers and so any time mom was pregnant, naturally it was assumed to be a boy.  I seem to be unable to get out of that mindset.  Though it will be a pleasant surprise if I do end up with a girl, I would love a boy just as much if that is what God has chosen to bless us with.

Well, my husband is home from work now as well and would like to have some dinner, so until next time, Happy New Year!