Wedding basics

So, in all of this I realized that the original reason that I wanted to write this blog was to talk about my experiences in life in hopes that someone could either gather some tips from what I had to say, or learn from my mistakes.  Or just enjoy reading about someone else stumbling through life, making it only by the grace of God. :)  I'm not saying my way is always right because it certainly isn't.  And I don't judge people who ever choose to do anything different.  I know I already wrote about my wedding, but, there are a few more things that I wanted to add for any of you newly engaged women who are looking for tips of any sort.

 1.  Determine your budget from the start.  This is soooo important.  Figure out how much money is going to be available to you for this event and from where it is coming.  Decide you are going to stick with that number.  Look up on the internet for different suggestions in the breakdowns of how much money should go to each category.  As you make purchases for each category, determine if the set percentage is one you like, or think should have more or less.  For example, I think the budget I followed suggested that I should spend 10% of my money on stationary.  That being invitations, thank you cards, place cards etc.  Well, I knew I wasn't going to spend nearly that much, so I took some of the money reserved for that and put it towards my reception, which I knew was going to be pricier than suggested. 

2.  Your wedding dress does not have to be the end all be all of life.  Yes it is important to love your dress, and you will.  And every bride looks breathtaking on her wedding day no matter what her dress looks like.  But, you really do only wear it one day of your life.  And your husband will think you look stunning no matter what.  Don't ruin your dress shopping experience stressing about finding the perfect dress.  If you get to the point where you think you are going to vomit if you try on another dress, you've looked too long.  Just pick one. :)

3.  Be real about invitations.  It's fine to want them to be awesome and pretty, but again, don't stress.  Your invitation will sit on someone's fridge until your wedding and then it will most likely be thrown in the trash.  Be ok with that.  Same thing with favors.  People remember things they are able to use rather than something that will just sit and collect dust.

4.  Determine how much you want to be involved and how much planning you want to do.  What I mean by that is, if you choose a venue like a country club, it is likely that you will choose your food, alcohol, center pieces, cake, and table linens through them.  That takes care of a lot of different phone calls.  If you choose some place that doesn't include all of those things you'll need to call a caterer, a bakery etc.  Decide if you want to do food tasting or cake tasting.  If your fiance doesn't want to be involved in lots of little details, don't force him to.  It will make planning more unpleasant for you and you may not be able to force him to do things once you're married anyway.  Get used to it now.  Or vice versa.  If he really wants to be involved, let him.  Respect his desire to have some say.  It's his special day too. 

5.  Don't skimp on your photography.  At the end of your wedding day, you will probably remember little to nothing.  It passes in such a blur.  You want to know that you had quality photography to capture every amazing moment of your special day that you can't currently remember.

6.  If you know someone artsy and don't want to bother with a florist, seriously consider having artificial bouquets made.  They are still beautiful and can be stored months in advance.

7.  Understand that the more popular the month that you chose for your wedding, the harder time you may have looking for availability in the near future.  If you insist on a June wedding, either get really creative, or accept the fact that you may need to wait a year or so for a popular venue.

Finally, realize that you will spend one day being a bride, but you will spend the rest of your life being a wife.  So many women slave over details and stress to the max over trying to get one day exactly perfect, and many of them succeed and have breathtakingly beautiful weddings.  But, according to statistics nowadays, more than half of those women will have their marriages end in divorce.  This is so sad.  I think that if women spent as much time praying about and learning about how to be a good wife as they do planning their wedding, the divorce rate would drop dramatically.  I would venture to say that the majority of women, if push came to shove, would marry their man, wedding or not.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to plan certain activities or have specific colors, but understand at the end of the day, your wedding is about you saying "I do" to the man that you love in front of all the people most important to you.  "I am not getting married now because I can't have an ice cream sundae bar at my reception", said no woman ever.  But seriously, learn to let go, be gracious to the people that come to celebrate with you, and don't forget to invite the Lord to start at the center of your new life together. :)