Mommy wars

I follow this facebook page where women post questions about breastfeeding, mainly.  But occasionally there will be questions posted about other things pertaining to motherhood.  It is amazing to me how critical and judgmental fellow mommies can be of one another.  The spectrum of parenthood is so vast and so broad and I think there are very few completely right answers, a couple of totally wrong answers and a whole bunch of just plain answers.  I think most parents would agree that you should always make sure, to the best of your abilities, that your children have enough to eat.  I think most parents would agree that obvious child abuse is abhorrent and wrong.  But throw in a topic like "sleep training" and you will have an explosion of opinions and maybe a few "facts".  Many mommies will think that you absolutely should sleep train your babies and you will have just as many mommies who think that the idea of training your baby to sleep is ridiculous.  Basically, what it comes down to is, WHO CARES?  If I am talking to fellow Christian mommies, the most important thing you can train your children to do is love the Lord, respect their father, and be kind to their siblings, if they have them.  Mothers make decisions every day for their babies based on so many factors such as what they think is best for their kids, their convenience, their own sanity and peace of mind, and so on and so forth.  What works for one mom may not work for another.  And that's ok. 

Do what works for you, and I'm going to do what works for me.  If women want to walk around with their babies strapped to their bodies, then let them.  Go smugly push your stroller somewhere else.  If you see a woman  nursing her baby, don't ask her why she would want to "deal" with that.  By far the majority of women who nurse their babies thoroughly enjoy it.  And if for whatever reason formula is what you have chosen, then feel justified in knowing you are still lovingly feeding and providing for your baby.  And for Pete's sake, let the co-sleepers co-sleep.  No one is saying you have to keep your baby in bed with you.  Maybe co-sleeping is the only way some mom can get her baby to sleep more than an hour at a time.  But at the same time, don't insinuate that my child is going to have security issues later in life because she sleeps alone in her crib.  And as far as crying it out goes, do what your gut tells you.  If you feel your baby just needs to figure it out, then do that.  If you feel your child isn't ready for that, or if you don't believe in it, then just don't do it. 

Sometimes there are things that moms have to do differently because of the way they are forced/choose to raise their kids.  Moms who stay home have much more freedom to experiment with their children's schedule than moms who work.  For instance, a mom that works might be more apt to put her baby on a feeding schedule while a stay at home mom would be more able to nurse on demand.  Basically what I'm saying is, I wish more moms could just support and love each other through their differences.  It's ok if people don't always do things your way.  That doesn't necessarily make them wrong.  Accept that.  Let it go.  I catch myself saying all the time, "Oh I would never want to do that".  And I don't.  But I'm sure there are things that I do that would make other moms feel that very same way.  Do what's best for your kids, and while you're at it, spread the love of Jesus. :)