My lovely daughter is now 13 months old. She turned a year on May 11th and has done nothing but continue to blossom into something more beautiful, more independent, and more amazing. She has started doing more "toddler" things. She now definitively says "doggie" and "ball" and is starting to convert completely to walking as opposed to crawling. She eats like a champ and that includes eating a variety of foods as well as large quantities of them. She is still the spitting image of her father, but she definitely has her mama's personality. She is strong-willed and opinionated and lets everyone know it. She is finally starting to get hair that is turning very blonde and is getting curly. She is still my little peanut and probably always will be. She is dwarfed by most other kids her age but that doesn't keep her from trying to keep up with them.
So the reasons that I have been absent from posting for a long time are simply because being a working mommy is hard. I come home at the end of the day and the last thing I want to do is cook dinner and make some attempt to clean my house. I just want a few minutes to sit down and relax. But life must go on. So I stand at the refrigerator and freezer and just stare. I wonder what can be thrown together in the shortest amount of time making the smallest amount of mess. If was smart, I would have a detailed weekly meal plan posted on my fridge so I would know exactly what I was having on what day. My discipline in life hasn't quite gotten there yet. So with my child hanging on my legs, (because it has been a long day for her as well), I pull a conglomeration of things together and then sit down to play with my daughter so that I have spent at least some of my day with her not just taking care of her essentials. I know the weekend is coming so for now I ignore the floors that desperately need vacuuming, the shelves that need dusting, and the growing pile of laundry. After dinner is served and cleaned up after, it is now the baby's bedtime. I change her, bath her if necessary, and then we settle into our recliner where she proceeds to nurse to sleep. If I thought that I enjoyed nursing a baby, I even more so enjoy nursing a toddler. It is a precious relationship between her and I that I will be sad to see go when that is what she chooses.
So by this time, it is now 8:30 or so. I say hello to my dear husband, unless I remembered to do that earlier in the evening, and then shortly after that, I stumble off to bed. It is now about 9:00 and I lay in bed thinking about what I even did today. I feel like I spend so much of my life operating in survival mode. I do what I can to keep life going and at the end of the day, if the choice is between bed and blogging, I'm choosing bed every time. Or at least I have for the past 6 months. But I am determined for that to change. How can I possibly encourage other working moms to make the time for things they enjoy when I am not doing it? So even though I currently live 90% of my life feeling overwhelmed and like I'm fighting the clock, what do my husband and I decide to do? Have another baby. Approximately 17 1/2 months after baby number one. And I'm not awesome with math, but generally when you add children, you can also subtract time. Time that I already feel like I don't have. BUT, the Lord in His goodness and mercy, has not forgotten me and will never ever leave me. And that is how I can do what I do. It is how even though I feel rushed and tired and overwhelmed, I still thrive in my calling as a mommy and wife. I literally love everything about my life right now. Well, I don't love the fact that I work, but I love that even though I do, the Lord is still using that for good in my life and in the lives of my family. Not being able to "do life" on my own, keeps me on my knees at the feet of the cross daily, asking the Lord to help me be the mommy and wife that I need to be. And His grace is more than sufficient, and it always is.
It is why I know that He blesses my efforts as a mother even though I don't have as much time with my daughter as I wish I did. It is how I know He gives me the energy and increases the love in my heart for my husband so that I may continue to serve him and help him in the ways he needs from his wife. And it is because of all of this that I have embraced this pregnancy and cannot wait to meet this new little life growing inside of me. Because I know that God will continue to pour out His grace on my family and give me and my husband the strength that we need to raise our children in godliness and serve each other in love. As I did with Shayna, I love my little one so much already. He or she is constantly reminding of their presence with little pokes and kicks that I will miss after birth. I seriously cannot wait to be a mommy to two precious children. Since it is now after 10:00 and I am sitting here barely able to keep my eyes open, I am going to join my already sleeping husband in bed and prepare to meet another day!
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